tinychatting:

my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone

horneschool:

my wallet is empty just like my soul 

owlwright:

me: *drinks water* health god

Eat it until she cums or don’t eat it at all.

(Source: 9bmcxesjay)

shubbabang:

those times when you stretch and end up cracking a joint so loud its just

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