*precisely determines where i should take the next bite of my sandwich*
Posted on Tuesday with 295,834 notes
there are mean parents and then there are parents who switch off the wifi at night
Posted on Tuesday with 434,140 notes
cute girl on the street: hey do you have the time?
me: sure do! 8:15
cute girl on the street: thanks
me: so what are we?
Posted on Tuesday with 13,765 notes
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.
Posted on Tuesday with 860 notes
u know when u really like someone and literally every little thing they do is cute and no matter what face they make they always look perfect to you
Posted on Tuesday with 782,551 notes
If you gotta force it, just leave it alone. Relationships, friendships, ponytails.. Just leave it.
Posted on Tuesday with 55,595 notes
if you’re reading this we’re now in a relationship love you babe
Posted on Tuesday with 392,702 notes
*stands behind a cute girl while pretending to talk loudly on the phone*
"yeah too bad it’s valentine’s day and i’m single. such a shame given my huge dick and expert lovemaking skills. i guess i’ll just have an expensive dinner all by myself"
Posted on Tuesday with 5,824 notes
Anonymous: I'd go down on you for so long I'd need scuba gear
Posted on Tuesday with 1 note